There are a few types of annoying landlords, agents, and managers. Here is a field guide to these unusual creatures.
The Hardly-Speak-English Landlord
This is pretty common in Los Angeles. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the cultural diversity of our great city. But I think if you want to deal with the public and collect large sums of money from them, it's probably a good idea to speak approximately proper English with generally good telephone manners. Here's how this one usually goes:
Me: Hi, I'm calling about the apartment at Wilshire and Bundy.
Landlord: Yes.
M: Can I see it?
L: When you want?
M: How is Monday at 10am?
L: OK, bye. <click>
Also fun is when they return a phone call based on a message.
Me: Hello.
Landlord: You call about apartment?
Yeah, I've only called about 30 apartments, can you be a bit more specific? Thanks.
The Too-Many-Questions Landlord
This one always cracks me up. I call to ask about an apartment I saw on Craigslist or Westside Rentals and immediately am bombarded with questions. What do you do? How many tenants? Do you have pets? The best is "what are you looking for?" Wow, I don't know, maybe an underground fallout shelter with space for a large dog. All of this before I even get a chance to look at the apartment. Sheesh.
The Strange-Requirements Landlord
There are plenty of these winners out there. I encountered an interesting one today. The apartment in question is stellar: 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, beautiful with a killer ocean view. Expensive, but possibly affordable on a splurge. But there's a catch: after grilling me (see Too-Many-Questions Landlord), the landlord tells me that she's a light sleeper and is looking for someone who will only use the second bedroom during the day, as that shares a wall with her bedroom in another apartment. So, rather than trying earplugs to combat her difficulty sleeping, she'll just request that her tenants avoid using an entire room at night. Uh huh, sounds like a blast living next door to this one.
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| So sad.... |
The I'm-Too-Busy-To-Call-Back Agent
Wow, that looks like a great apartment in the ad! Let's call the number. Leave a message. Three days later, no response. Send an email, no response. But the same place is posted on Craigslist again four times over. Uh, care to return your phone calls?
The I-Won't-Negotiate Landlord
Since about 2008, the Los Angeles rental market has opened up tremendously. Landlords are making deals left and right. But there are the holdouts, and these are the most annoying of the bunch. Some people, apparently, would prefer that their property be sitting empty for months on end rather than make a deal with a prospective tenant. Can we say lose-lose?
